Seasons Beginning

There are so many things for a coach to take care of when starting off each season. We begin with try outs, a stressed filled 4 day adventure come rain or shine or in the years case: snow in the south. Trying to make sure that everyone has a fair chance to show off thier talent. Ideally, all players have a clear understanding of their abilities and where they stand so when it comes to posting the "team list" there are little to no surprises. Inevitably there are those who are elated with the decisions made and well, sadly the few that are very upset. All in all, it is for the betterment of each player and the team ‘cause everyone wants a winning season.



It is those questions that we get each day that just either liven up the practices and just plain make the moments on the field so random, that they are funny. If you are a coach, you will totally understand.
Here are a few:
1. I can't run.
Player: "Hey coach, so, like, if we run today, like, I don't have my running shoes, but I can borrow the ones from my sister’s car but, I just wanted you to know that if I fall down, it is because they are too big and I tend to step on my own toes."
Coach: "Seriously? Where are your running shoes?"
Player: "I don't know but they are somewhere and I am bound to find them eventually."
2. I can't breathe.
Player: "Coach, I know they tell you that we need a mouth guard but since this one doesn't fit, then can I just poof out my mouth like this (picture the front of you face full of air) and if I don't breath, will you notice?"
Coach: " I am sure that when you pass out somebody will notice, you may want to mold that mouth guard so it fits and you can still breathe."
3. I can't stay.
Player: “Hey coach, I have to leave early today. My mom is coming back from a trip."
Coach: "Well, that is exciting, where was she?"
Player: (Ignoring the question)  "She went to have surgery."
Coach: "OMG, I didn't realize, is she OK?"
Player: "Oh yea, she just needed her boobs done." "You know, smaller..."
4. I can't believe it.
Player: "Coach you know what happened today? I borrowed this sweatshirt from XXX and she loaned it to someone for 3 classes, when I got it and put my hands in the pockets I found all these finger nails!"
Coach: "What? That is disgusting"
Player; "Yea right? …and they were all red tips!"
5. I can't understand.
Player: "Hey coach, when you say run over there, do you mean forwards?" (HS GPA: 3.8)
This is just the beginning....